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really...

May. 9th, 2008 | 11:08 pm

I just wanna talk to Benji
asap

I feel so lost thinking about how he might have changed...

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Welcome fucking home, Zacky

Jul. 23rd, 2007 | 10:55 pm
location: who gives a shit
mood: crushed crushed
music: I dont love you - MCR

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
Since you've been gone
Please come back home


I don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymoreI don't care anymore


Nope I dont.
I don't care. I dont give a shit.
Fuck it. Fuck you. And you. And you. And all of you. Fuck this. Fuck life. Fuck kids. Fuck love. Fuck friends. Fuck fuck fuck..

Let's just get hammered and fuck
Deal? deal.

Cut the small talk =
zackyv81



I hope Jake knows how to cook because I dont fucking care.


Fuck off






Confession #26: I hate myself atm
Confession #25: I need a drink..
Confession #24: I think I couldn't be happier
Confession #23: I missdid him forrealzzz
Confession #22: I hate these things.. why did I start them?
Confession #21: Benji say's I need a job. hahahano.
Confession #20: I'm gonna need a lot more help than expected...

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Guess what

Jun. 5th, 2007 | 04:19 pm
mood: cheerful cheerful

Are you mother fuckers ready?
For the new shit
Stand up and admit
Tomorrow's never comin


Benji's back
=]


I need more friends.
zackyv81
hit it up. bitch.







Confession: #23: I missdid him forrealzzz
Confession #22: I hate these things.. why did I start them?
Confession #21: Benji say's I need a job. hahahano.
Confession #20: I'm gonna need a lot more help than expected...

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God I'm antisocial

May. 29th, 2007 | 02:57 pm
mood: crappy crappy
music: I think Charmed is on

I was fine
Before you walked into
My life


No. Not really.
I miss Benji. (Jake doesn't sleep -_-)

I need more friends.
zackyv81
hit it up. bitch.







Confession #22: I hate these things.. why did I start them?
Confession #21: Benji say's I need a job. hahahano.
Confession #20: I'm gonna need a lot more help than expected...

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Titles blow

May. 9th, 2007 | 04:20 pm
mood: drained drained
music: Family Fued.. Don't ask..

Long live
The car crash hearts


"Don't kill him. I'll call from Florida. Lyndsey"
Asshole...


So, if I prayed, I'd thank God right now for Benji. Jake would probably be dead, and I would probably be elsewhere if it wasn't for him.

Then again, sometimes I wish Benji wasn't around. Like when he thinks of great ideas to let Jake go to McDonalds... x.x

Yeah, that's my life basicaly.
Shove it.






Confession #21: Benji say's I need a job. hahahano.
Confession #20: I'm gonna need a lot more help than expected...

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yippe..

Apr. 30th, 2007 | 05:13 pm
mood: confused confused
music: Highschool Never Ends - BFS

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
Since you've been gone
Please come back home


Lyndsey and Jake are here
Hayley met them.
hahahhahaha I love how she didn't believe me when I said to beware of the bitch.

Yah... nothing interesting really has happened. Lyndsey keeps shoving shit in my mind about Jake, and I have a feeling she's gonna make me keep him.

x.x

( Lyndsey gave me these of Jake )






Confession #20: I'm gonna need a lot more help than expected...

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Uhm.. wow

Apr. 28th, 2007 | 06:03 pm
mood: distressed distressed

You write such pretty words
But lifes no storybook
Loves and excuse to get hurt
And to hurt


"Zacky - Jake turned 2 last week. Katies got issues. I'll be down with Jake sometime next week. We've got some problems to solve. Live up to your mistakes, because I'm not doing this for you. Just for Katie and Jake's sake. Lyndsey"

So.. let's clear a few things up..

In Florida, when I was 15, I got this girl- Katie- pregnant. Yes, she had the baby- Jake. I lived with that kid for over a year of his life, but I was not a well fit... "Father" or anything. So, the day I was moving here I slept with Katie's best friend- Lydnsey- so she'd never want anything to do with me. Ever since Katie got pregnant she's been some freak suicidal bitch, so I'm pretty sure she tried to kill herself again.

This morning I was woken up by my mom pounding on the door- evidenetly Lydnsey called and said she was coming early and would be here sometime around Monday or Tuesday. So I had to explain the whole thing to mom. She was pretty much nothing above shocked and left, but not before giving me my money.

So basically.....

I have no idea what I'm gonna do.






Confression #19: I really don't want this responsibility by myself
Confession #18: I really am so sorry...
Confession #17: I like to push my luck
Confession #16: <--is in love
Confession #15: "I did it all for the nookie(what?)the nookie(what?)the nookie"
Confession #14: I do have a heart
Confession #13: NOT A PANSY!!
Confession #12: People really shouldn't take anything I say to heart...
Confession #11: Unfaithful is different from unloyal
Confession #10: Not everybodies life can be that shitty

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idfk

Apr. 22nd, 2007 | 04:56 pm
location: Hell
mood: crushed crushed
music: The Latest Plauge - FFTL

Two roads
Split off from here
And my life goes running
In opposite directions
Exaggerating the barrior between
Who I am and who I want to be


Call me names
Beat the living hell out of me
Ignore me
Spit on me
Punish me

Because I am nothing with out something
And you were something...






Confession #18: I really am so sorry...
Confession #17: I like to push my luck
Confession #16: <--is in love
Confession #15: "I did it all for the nookie(what?)the nookie(what?)the nookie"
Confession #14: I do have a heart
Confession #13: NOT A PANSY!!
Confession #12: People really shouldn't take anything I say to heart...
Confession #11: Unfaithful is different from unloyal
Confession #10: Not everybodies life can be that shitty

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-Insert catchy line to get your attention here-

Apr. 17th, 2007 | 06:07 pm
location: My couch
mood: grumpy grumpy
music: ABC 123 - Jackson 5

ABC, 123
Doe re me
That's how easy love can be


What it do?
Uhm.. yeah.. been awhile?
I've realized - I don't really have friends
dahahahahahah xDDD I guess it happens when you're me

I sound like a pansy in my last entry
wtf?

Yeah, anyway...................

Nope I got nothing else






Confession #17: I like to push my luck
Confession #16: <--is in love
Confession #15: "I did it all for the nookie(what?)the nookie(what?)the nookie"
Confession #14: I do have a heart
Confession #13: NOT A PANSY!!
Confession #12: People really shouldn't take anything I say to heart...
Confession #11: Unfaithful is different from unloyal
Confession #10: Not everybodies life can be that shitty

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Rock you, shock you, drop you, and make you want it more

Mar. 30th, 2007 | 06:09 pm
mood: calm calm
music: Insurence - The Higher

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me?
So I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.


Hey bitches
A hell of a fucking lot has changed
I've changed
We've changed
It's all changed

First off, I don't really care anymore. You either love me or hate me, and if you hate me, so be it. We can deck it out later if you'd like, but my life is too good to waste on dumbasses who don't know shit. If you love me, great, maybe we'll hang out. Haha

Second off, I made a huge mistake. When I lied to the world, and to myself. I let you go, let you slip away, and almost lost you.
Thank God I didn't.
I'll never make that mistake again Benjamin Levi Madden

Anyway, I'm also trying to stop drinking[[silly boi]]
Who knows how long that'll last.. hah






Confession #16: <--is in love
Confession #15: "I did it all for the nookie(what?)the nookie(what?)the nookie"
Confession #14: I do have a heart
Confession #13: NOT A PANSY!!
Confession #12: People really shouldn't take anything I say to heart...
Confession #11: Unfaithful is different from unloyal
Confession #10: Not everybodies life can be that shitty

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I'm not what you think I am

Mar. 20th, 2007 | 03:45 pm
mood: drained drained
music: Crickets

So cut my wrist & black my eyes
So I can fall asleep tonight
Or die
Because you kill me
You know you do, you kill me well


Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
I don't know how many times I can say it but, FUCK
I don't know how to breath anymore.
I don't get what I am, or why I do what I do
All I know is I can't feel.

I can't feel the same way about you that you do about me. I can't feel the pain that you do when someone yells at you. I can't feel the excitment you do when you win, or the dissapointment when you lose. I can't feel.

I don't love.
It's not that I don't love you
I just don't love.

I lust.
I lust everybody in one way.
Maybe you stood out. Maybe you seemed vulnerable. Maybe it was impulse. Maybe you looked good. Maybe it was despite someone. Maybe it was a dare. Or maybe.. maybe it just wasn't. Maybe it wasn't anything. Maybe it just happened.

Whatever it was or wasn't, I guess I'm sorry.
I sort of lead you on
I don't know how you fell for me
But I guess you just did
Though I don't feel any pain
I'm sorry if I hurt you
You deserve something better
Someone better






Confession #15: "I did it all for the nookie(what?)the nookie(what?)the nookie"
Confession #14: I do have a heart
Confession #13: NOT A PANSY!!
Confession #12: People really shouldn't take anything I say to heart...
Confession #11: Unfaithful is different from unloyal
Confession #10: Not everybodies life can be that shitty

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Can't Believe Myself..

Mar. 13th, 2007 | 10:34 am
mood: cranky cranky
music: Country

Everyones a let down
It just depends on
How far down they can go


I'm sorry
No, really, I am.
I can't believe myself.
I can't believe I actually.. forgot something this important

If you can find it in your heart, Benji, please forgive me.
We'll talk later
And I'll make it up to you
I swear


♥






Confession #14: I do have a heart
Confession #13: NOT A PANSY!!
Confession #12: People really shouldn't take anything I say to heart...
Confession #11: Unfaithful is different from unloyal
Confession #10: Not everybodies life can be that shitty

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State Of Horror

Mar. 9th, 2007 | 05:23 pm
mood: curious curious
music: Check Your Life At The Door - 16th Avenue

And I will kiss you forever,
Lips of silence my favorite endeavour.
Feel my arms, wrapped around you,
Falling into the oceans of virtue.


What it is bitches?
So basically, I was sober for like.. a week
Just because I ran out of alcohol and was too lazy to go buy any
Hahaha, well that's change. I'm buzzed and I feel right again

Hayley, I will kill you. I promise. Keep your legs close and stay away from the cooties, stupid whore ;D


I didn't mean to get all freakish, Benji. ♥






Confession #13: NOT A PANSY!!
Confession #12: People really shouldn't take anything I say to heart...
Confession #11: Unfaithful is different from unloyal
Confession #10: Not everybodies life can be that shitty

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ily?

Feb. 27th, 2007 | 10:27 am
mood: calm calm
music: State Of Horror - 16th Avenue

You have a moan
All of your own
And I can feel it down
To the bone

Hey hoes
Keyboarding, agian.
I know, surprise right? I'm actually in school

Just stopped by to leave those lyrics.
Dahahahaha..






Confession #12: People really shouldn't take anything I say to heart...
Confession #11: Unfaithful is different from unloyal
Confession #10: Not everybodies life can be that shitty

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You should'a stayed home, should'a known better

Feb. 24th, 2007 | 04:09 pm
mood: curious curious
music: Maneater - Panic! At The Disco cover

You can have everything
If you let yourself be
Why? Oh, because
Happiness runs in a
Circle of motion

What it do hoes?
Benji's home
Zacky's.. happy?
Of course.. he's happy.. very.. happy

Right, so anyway, what's with life lately?
The cold, the ice, the shit going down.
I'm on house arrest[[only not really]]
So talk to me, or sneak over, because I can't leave
Maybe tomorrow it'll all be well, I hope to the good Lord.

Anyway, let's all go get shittfaced and have a 2570872087468some.
Haha, no.
I'm not sharing






Confession #11: Unfaithful is different from unloyal
Confession #10: Not everybodies life can be that shitty

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Shocker

Feb. 17th, 2007 | 02:15 pm
mood: pissed off pissed off
music: NOFX - I want you to want me

When everything you'll get
Is everything that you wanted
Princess
Well which would you prefer?
My finger on the trigger or
Me face down, down across your floor

Hey bitches.
You think you kind of have some people figured out
But then it turns out they're lying to you
You have a feeling maybe things could work out for once
And then somebody like them comes along
You've got it made, life is 'swell'
And then douchebags come and take your beer

Let's just say give respect to get it, Give shit to get it, and/or Give nothing to get it don't always apply.

Once again, being vauge is as fun as watching that one show






Confession #10: Not everybodies life can be that shitty

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I guess it wasn't lust

Feb. 15th, 2007 | 03:21 pm
mood: chipper chipper
music: My heart beat

I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I'm beggin you to beg me
And I want you now

♥

Being vauge is as fun as watching that one show






Confession #9: I'd probably stop drinking to relive that moment
Confession #8: Does Zacky have a crush? Maybe it's just lust
Confession #7: I have a plan...
Confession #6: I'm an alcoholic
Confession #5: I think I'm an insomniac
Confession #4: You're heart is an open-book. Too bad I'm illiterate
Confession #3: I'm a sarcastic arse-fucker
Confession #2: I'm addicted to candy
Confession #1: I think I might like this place...

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Whore

Feb. 14th, 2007 | 01:25 pm
mood: curious curious
music: It Ends Tonight- All American Rejects

Well I know what I've been told
You gotta break free
To break the mold
I can't do this all on my own
No I know I'm no superman

Hey hoes
Be proud, if you can
I haven't started drinking yet

Yesterday was... interesting [[to say the least]]
Conor, Benji, hell... let's just say I'm sure I do like it here






Confession #8: Does Zacky have a crush? Maybe it's just lust
Confession #7: I have a plan...
Confession #6: I'm an alcoholic
Confession #5: I think I'm an insomniac
Confession #4: You're heart is an open-book. Too bad I'm illiterate
Confession #3: I'm a sarcastic arse-fucker
Confession #2: I'm addicted to candy
Confession #1: I think I might like this place...

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Teenage Vows In A Parking Lot

Feb. 9th, 2007 | 05:50 pm
mood: crappy crappy
music: Golden - Fall Out Boy

Last years wishes
Are this years apologizes
Every last time I come home
I take my last chance
To burn a bridge or two

What it do?
I'm pretty much buzzed right now
Let's hope I'll still make a bit of sense

So I've been away for a little. Basically because my mother decided out of the blue to move me across town to her boyfuck[[Phil's]]place. She's got issues, to say the least. Anyway, that didn't last long. Getting shitface drunk everynight, pissing in plants, and breaking expensive bullshit isn't exactly welcoming I guess.

So, yeah, I'm back at my place. Still alone.. And, yes, I'd like to keep it that way.

I'd been hangin with Conor a lot before I had to run off.
Good times, to say the least.

You all familar with that one guy? Benji
Yeah, me too now.
I guess word gets around that I wasn't the sweetest talker.
Oh, well, he seemed to forgive and forget quick.
We went out and got some drinks, but I was shaking in my knees that he'd get me pissfaced and then beat the shit out of me.
Do you honestly blame me?

Still no word on Hayley[[Thank God..]]

GABE, JACK DANIELS IS NOT DEAD! I WILL MARRY HIS CORPSE IF I HAVE TOO!!






Confession #7: I have a plan...
Confession #6: I'm an alcoholic
Confession #5: I think I'm an insomniac
Confession #4: You're heart is an open-book. Too bad I'm illiterate
Confession #3: I'm a sarcastic arse-fucker
Confession #2: I'm addicted to candy
Confession #1: I think I might like this place...

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Sex

Feb. 4th, 2007 | 11:03 am
mood: bouncy bouncy
music: Risque - Cute Is What We Aim For

Drama doesn't follow me
It rides on my back

Hey hoes
Now that I've caught your attention with the title...

Me and Conor have been hangin out.
I've been pissface drunk.
So basically, I remember about as far up as the ignitioning kiss.
And that's it.
Does it worry me?[[here's the scary part...]]Not really.

Oh, and I finally got Jared shitfaced.
He's waaayyy too cute drunk.

And I met this kid- Gabe.
Pretty much hilarious cracka
We're def. watching the game together today.


Oh, and, about Hayley. We haven't talked[[knock on fucking wood]]
Maybe she finally realized not everybodies gonna love her






Confession #6: I'm an alcoholic
Confession #5: I think I'm an insomniac
Confession #4: You're heart is an open-book. Too bad I'm illiterate
Confession #3: I'm a sarcastic arse-fucker
Confession #2: I'm addicted to candy
Confession #1: I think I might like this place...

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